VIDEOS: The Worst YouTube Videos of the Week, Volume Two
Matt here with the 2nd ever installment of The Worst YouTube Videos of the Week. I know this is only my second post of this nature, but I’m already getting worn out. I have watched way too many crappy videos lately. I hope you enjoy this latest batch of garbage, I know I didn’t.
1. World’s Angriest Man Yells into His Camera. Nobody Cares (Language NSFW).
Ok, I’m not going to debate what happened with the Kansas City police or what’s going on in Iraq. Quite frankly, those just aren’t very funny topics to write about. What is funny, however, is somebody yelling obscenities into a camera and then posting the video on YouTube. There is no way this guy is legitimately that angry with the U.S., the Kansas City police, or Bill O’Reilly. No, the true source of his anger stems from the fact that he’s probably about 5’2 and has no friends. Because of his small stature and lack of social skills, he probably got mercilessly picked on the schoolyard bullies and ignored by all the girls, even the really ugly ones. Over the years a tremendous amount of anger has built up inside of him, but due to his complete lack of physical ability, his only outlet for his anger is through YELLING REALLY LOUDLY INTO A CAMERA AND HOPING PEOPLE WILL LISTEN. Best line in the video comes in at the 2:58 mark when the angry little guy says, “I don’t want to be some pathetic little flamer…” Sorry buddy, it might be a little too late for that.
2. This Old Guy Is Way Too Full of Himself. Old People Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Use Computers.
Wow, there are so many things wrong with this video, I hardly know where to begin. First of all, a pipe? Are you serious? You’re actually going to make a video with an UNLIT pipe in your mouth? Newsflash, old man, it doesn’t make you look distinguished; it just makes you look like a douchebag. Secondly, just because someone made a phony account on another website using your name doesn’t mean you should be flattered. I’m sure they just did it to mock you because they hate you and your crappy videos. Lastly, am I mistaken, or did I hear him use the word “fortnight”? The only reason to ever use the word “fortnight” is if you want to make yourself look like a pompous ass
3. The World’s Dumbest Atheist Demands That His Website Hosting Service Reinstate His Website or Else They’ll Feel the Wrath of a God That He Doesn’t Believe In.
This guy isn’t quite as angry as the dude in the first video (probably because he’s a bit taller), but he’s pretty angry nonetheless. He’s angry because his web hosting service deemed his website offensive and removed it. This action was probably well within their rights and was probably specified in their terms of service, but since this guy can barely read, I’m sure he missed that part. Seriously, after watching this guy read, I wouldn’t doubt it if his website was taken down simply because it contained too many spelling and grammar mistakes. My absolute favorite part of the video though is when the guy unintentionally channels Derek Zoolander and says, about his boycott, “…making it at the very least…10 to 100 times more expensive as the money you took from me.”
4. Crazy Japanese Lady Talks to Her Cat. I Can’t Understand Anything That Is Spoken or Subtitled, But I’m Pretty Sure It Sucked.
Ok, since I don’t read or speak Japanese, I can’t say with absolute certainty that this video is crap. I guess I can only say with 99.99% cetainty that this video is crap. Seriously, why do people film their pets so much? Between my own and my friends’ pets, I’ve encountered a lot of animals in my day and I’ve never once felt compelled to videotape one. Actually, I take that back. There was this one time when a stupid neighbor kid’s dog bit my arm. I wish I had a video camera with me then; that had lawsuit written all over it.
5. A Couple Teenage Girls Lip-synch and Dance to Hit Me Baby One More Time. Perverts Everywhere Rejoice.
First off, these girls aren’t bad looking. Their dancing was pretty mediocre, especially since it looked like they had choreographed some stuff prior to making the video, but it wasn’t terrible. No, the video itself wasn’t actually that bad. What I take issue with is the motive behind the video. I can see these girls getting together and wanting to have some fun dancing. I can even see them gently kissing, caressing one another’s nubile body, then slowly removing their pan…whoops, got sidetracked there. I can see them videotaping themselves dancing, but why post that video on YouTube? Are they looking to become online friends with a bunch of dirty old men? Hmm, if so, I’d better get in contact with them. I’m not that old, but I definitely make up for it with my dirtiness.
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rebane said,
July 10, 2007 @ 3:58 am
I liked the site. Keep them coming.