The Worst YouTube Videos of the Week, Volume Four
Welcome to another edition of The Worst YouTube Videos of the Week.
As satisfying as it is to make fun of people every week for polluting the internet with their lame videos, I still feel like something is missing. I feel like I should be doing more to stop these people from continuing to make awful videos. That is why I’ve decided to start posting a comment on every video that I feature here on TWYTVOTW. (What a crappy acronym. I should’ve gone with my gut instinct and named this feature “Videos Aren’t Good. I’m Not Amused”).
Anyways, here’s the comment I’m going to post on the YouTube pages of all videos that appear in this feature: “Congratulations! This video has earned a spot in my Worst YouTube Videos of the Week post. This is nothing personal, it’s just that you are not good at making videos. At all. I suggest you stop this practice immediately and instead focus your energy on other activities, such as: reading, making friends, learning to be entertaining, or playing in traffic. Thanks in advance. –MATT”
Ok, now on to the videos.
1. The World’s Most Boring Video. BONUS: Narrated By a Moron
Ok, for those of you aren’t up to date on the latest happenings in the YouTube community, I envy you. Anyways, there’s a kid who goes by “DaxFlame” who plays a hilarious socially awkward character that makes a video blog. It’s kind of a cross between that nerdy spaz in high school who everyone made fun of and Jim Carrey’s character from The Cable Guy. His videos are generally pretty funny, but they do tend to be overacted a bit. One more thing about DaxFlame is that he does not explicitly specify that he’s a fictional character, but it’s painfully obvious to anyone above retard-level intelligence.
Speaking of retard-level intelligence, that brings us to the creator of this video. He, fancying himself a modern-day Sherlock Holmes, set out to PROVE that DaxFlame is a fictional character, apparently for the benefit of morons around the world. Proving this point consists of recapping all of DaxFlame’s videos (can you say stalker?), completely mispronouncing the word “innuendo,” and mixing up Charles Dickens and Emily Dickinson to form the fictional poet/author Charles Dickinson. Please don’t even watch this video.
2. Ugly Dude Reads a Religious Poem by An Unknown Author. He Should’ve Followed Suit and Made the Video Anonymously…With a Bag Over His Face
Geez, guy, why are you so close to your camera? You don’t exactly have the face for video (or the voice for radio, for that matter). Personally, I thought the poem itself was filled with platitudes and relied too heavily on its usage of redundancy, but if you really wanted to feature it in a video, you probably should’ve just had the words flash across the screen instead of subjecting people to your ugly mug.
Also, what exactly are you trying to accomplish by calling out atheists? You really think some atheist is going to watch your video and say, “Wow, what a beautifully-read, inspiring poem! I can’t believe how wrong I’ve been. Hello, operator, get me the number of the nearest seminary.”?
3. Guy Makes Fun of George W. Bush’s Intelligence. He Is Officially the One Billionth Person to Do So.
I guess a little while ago someone made a video on YouTube asking other people to make videos showing their favorite sandwiches. Oh boy! This is just the opportunity for Dreadlock Man, comedian extraordinaire, to step up and show off his dazzling wit. You see, Dreadlock Man thinks George W. Bush is an idiot. Never mind the fact that he has degrees from Yale and Harvard and he’s obtained most powerful leadership position in the world. He’s a bad public speaker and he’s made some questionable foreign policies, so he’s clearly an idiot. The George W. Bush sandwich is one with nothing inside. Hahahaha, get it? The sandwich is empty like his head. Pure comedy gold.
Note: I am not defending George W. Bush. I think he is a terrible president. I just think he’s a lot smarter than most people give him credit for. And he’s definitely a lot smarter than people who make crappy YouTube videos poking fun at one of the easiest targets out there.
4. Formula for Failure: Stupid Girl + Nothing Interesting Being Said At All + Tilting Camera = Completely Worthless Video
Anytime a video starts out with “I was bored, so I decided to make a video,” it’s probably going to suck. People need to stop making YouTube videos when they’re bored and instead work on making themselves more entertaining. This video is like a lot of worthless videos that I’ve come across before, but what really sets it apart and makes it truly awful is the stupid tilting camera. If I ever find myself attempting to make the worst video possible, I’ll be sure to follow her lead and incorporate the tilting camera technique. It’s guaranteed to make any video at least 25% worse.
5. Newsflash: Incorporating Pets and Video Effects into a Video Cannot Make Unfunny People Any Funnier
I love watching videos of people like this who think they’re a lot funnier than they really are. Actually, no I don’t, but it is more amusing to me than people who just make awful videos and don’t try to be funny. I mean, I’m sure a lot of people don’t even care about the quality of video that they upload to YouTube, and those people are the main reason why there are so many bad videos out there. However, there will always be people like this who just have a poor understanding of what is funny. They scripted this whole thing out, added some cool effects with their video editing software, and created a video that they obviously thought was funny. Unfortunately, they were wrong.
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