VIDEOS: Bill Brasky Was the Subject of a Whole Lot of Stories. Here Are All of Them.
Bill Brasky is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Wait, or is that Superman? Trick question…Bill Brasky is Superman.
Anyways, here are all 5 Brasky SNL sketches, in order of their appearance on the show.
-MATT
Bill Brasky at the Airport
SNL - Bill Brasky at the Airport
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Bill Brasky at the Holiday Inn
Bill Brasky
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Bill Brasky’s Funeral
Bill Brasky funeral
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Bill Brasky at a Little League Game
Bill Brasky at the Bar
Bill Brasky
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My personal favorite - “Brasky decides he’s gonna hunt down all four members of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives…except Fleegle.” Feel free to comment on your favorite Brasky quote from the above videos, or just make up one of your own. Best made-up Brasky comment wins a fabulous prize - my respect.
Since we know you so well, you'll like this too:
Robby said,
April 6, 2007 @ 1:15 pm
… So with tears in his eyes, he had to shoot the maid.
Matt said,
April 6, 2007 @ 2:00 pm
Haha, yeah, the non sequiturs get me every time.
Ron said,
April 6, 2007 @ 4:38 pm
My favorite quote is I once saw Bill Brasky scissor kick Angela Lansbury..haha
Patrick said,
April 6, 2007 @ 5:52 pm
Bill Brasky shared a small apartment with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in 1995. Bill Brasky was actually the basis for the character of “Will” in the duo’s Oscar winning script, “Good Will Hunting” which was originally titled “Bill Brasky Told My Parents About the Abortion My Girlfriend Had, and he also Mops Floors and is not too Bad at Math.”
videos » … Brasky of the Whole Bill a of Lot Stories Was VIDEOS: Subject said,
April 6, 2007 @ 6:34 pm
[…] … They the entirety begged for their lives except Fleegle. Feel free to make an observation on your favorite Brasky quote from the on top of videos, or just make up one of your own. BANGKOK (AFP) - Thailand on Friday expressed outrage at the posting of new videos mocking the nation s revered king on the video-sharing website YouTube, pledging to maintain a ban on the site until they are removed. top made-up Brasky make an observation wins a fabulous prize - my respect. continue… […]
Drew said,
April 6, 2007 @ 6:50 pm
This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve always felt these were some of the most underrated sketches of all time on SNL. I’ve searched all over for them and haven’t been able to find them… until now.
street racing videos » … Brasky of the Whole Bill a of Lot Stories Was VIDEOS: Subject said,
April 6, 2007 @ 7:07 pm
[…] … They the entirety begged for their lives except Fleegle. Feel free to make an observation on your favorite Brasky quote from the on top of videos, or just make up one of your own. BANGKOK (AFP) - Thailand on Friday expressed outrage at the posting of new videos mocking the nation s revered king on the video-sharing website YouTube, pledging to maintain a ban on the site until they are removed. top made-up Brasky make an observation wins a fabulous prize - my respect. rest of article… […]
Muenster Hornwallace said,
April 6, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
He’ll eat a homeless person if you dare him!
Brad said,
April 7, 2007 @ 5:15 am
All the Yes album covers are Brasky family photos. Jesus, that’s funny.
Mark Quayle said,
April 7, 2007 @ 10:24 am
His poop is considered currency in Argentina
Horace Noisewater said,
April 7, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
Bill Brasky’s got a toenail on his penis.
Joe said,
April 7, 2007 @ 1:55 pm
this sucked
C.Norris said,
April 7, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
this seems to inspire alot of chuck norris facts
derrich said,
April 8, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
Bill Brasky is Top 5 of all-time SNL skits…particularly with Alec Baldwin.
“He hated Mexicans”
“And he was half Mexican”
“And he hated irony”
Josh said,
April 9, 2007 @ 12:43 am
Bill Brasky … you know the guy, goes about 7′8″.. 549 lbs… ? … Bill BRASKY comes over to my house for a dinner party. Everyone from work is there, and BRASKY decides he’s gonna make violent love to my wife on the dining room table. She winds up in a wheelchair. Killed the cat, too. Luckily, Jones had his camcorder there… My wife and I have been living off the profits of that video, it was so damned good.
TO BILL BRASKY!
josh said,
April 9, 2007 @ 12:54 am
My personal favorite - “They use Brasky’s foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankees Stadium.” Lol, now thats funny!
How bout’ my own - “Brasky invented the internet…..shortly after he perfected pornography.”
Joe said,
April 9, 2007 @ 11:48 am
They say that the Wizard of OZ was based off that time when Brasky went on a 3 month long Peyote Spree
Jonathan said,
May 21, 2007 @ 2:56 am
Bill Brasky had a 3-way with a pair of Siamese twins.
Joe said,
August 7, 2007 @ 3:05 am
You know Brasky served three tours in Vietnam? I was in Corpus Christi on business once and I ate lunch at this restaurant. My waiter was an 8 foot Asian fellow. I asked him his name, sure enough, it was Ho Tran Brasky.
Marcus said,
October 30, 2007 @ 9:18 pm
A Bill Brasky delivered scissor-kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states
BLewis said,
December 15, 2007 @ 8:55 pm
Bill Brasky has his own garden. It’s called the Amazon Jungle.
BLewis said,
December 15, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
Bill Brasky once went shot for shot of molten lava with the devil. The devil goes down on the 665 shot. Brasky says “shit, I’ll take another for good measure.”
Robert Sahaghian said,
December 28, 2007 @ 2:03 am
Here’s one of my own.
Bill Brasky once made love to a woman for 3 straight days before he realized it was actually a school bus filled with screaming children.
Kevin said,
January 6, 2008 @ 11:57 pm
Well, well, well Bill braskey fan i thought they where all gone. But you have survived. Well i wrote a Braskey script a long time ago only when my buddy and me like it. Its great at drunk partys. enjoy If it suck tell me. If itas good tell me.
Bill Braskey: Halloween Party! 2007
Setting: Office
Characters: Ted, Mick, Larry.
Another party with are middle age bums. Sitting at there bosses Desk, drinking as always. Talk about of course Bill Braskey.
Camera: First a few people in the front of the camera angle which quickly comes to a clearing of Ted, Mick and Larry sitting behind there bosses desk Drinkng. All of them laughing and smoking, Out loud. Ted starts finishing his story.
Ted: (Dressed up as Batman): An I couldn’t see for three weeks. (Group laugh) It’s true I, swear.
Mick: (Dressed up as a Vampire): Well I bet you learn that’s the last time you pay a Monkey for sexual favors?
Ted: Maybe I did and maybe I (drunken pause) I Did.
Larry (In a power puff costume…bubbles): I haven’t got laid in 3 years (drunken pause) I have STDs.
Mick: Which one?
Larry: (Sad to admit it) all of them.
(Awkward Silences)
Ted: Anyways, have you guys heard about the new Guy Bill Braskey?
(All the guys get fired up)
Mick: Hear of him? He’s a God! And I don’t even care I that I just sinned saying that. (Looking up) Take that 1st and 2nd commandment!
Larry: I heard he once drank whisky out of a football helmet and then ate it.
Ted: (Proudly) He’s the guy who slapped my son in the face. And the next day he had a full grown beard.
Mick: Isn’t your son in the 3rd grade?
Ted: (Still Proud) YUP! He’s new nickname is “It” from the Adams Family.
Larry: Did you guys hear about Bill Braskey interview?
Mick: (In a drunken slur) My balls didn’t drop till I was 18 years old!
(Awkward salience)
Larry: Well anyways, Braskey was in this very office with the Big Cheese. And Braskey noticed that the boss had one of those wig things on her head. So Brasky rips off the rug and throws it out the window. Then he says “Rugs should never be put on top of the head unless it’s a sexual position”. The Boss was Furious!
Ted: (confused) Because the boss is a woman?
Larry: No because she hasn’t got laid in three years, (pointing to himself) just like me.
Mick: But with no STDs.
Larry: Ta Bill Braskey (holding his beer)
All guys: Ta BIIL BRASKEY!!!!!
Ted: He once when to Canada just to flip off Mike Myers. He wasn’t there, but the point was made.
Mick: Braskey did all the rockets back in 1983.
Larry: The creator of Sponge Bob Square Pants got all of he’s ideas from getting his head shoved up Braskeys Ass.
Ted: In Japan they use his spit as a thicken agent.
Mick: He demanded his money back for seeing the movie Triple X
Larry: He chugs scope to have a clean mouth, so he can swear later.
Ted: He cares so much for the wild life that he put up an electric fence around the forest just to keep those critters away from civilization.
Mick: He’s such a caring bastard isn’t he? … (Looking at Larry)
Larry: (Large yell) Hargargigiggle.
Ted: That’s right! Ta Bill Braskey!
All men: (All together) Ta Bill Braskey!
Mick: Hey did you guys hear about time when Bill Braskey took a trip to Disney World.
Ted: I pissed myself during the Pirates of the Caribbean!
(Awkward Silence)
Mick: Anyways, Braskey was walking through the Magic Kingdom when Tony the Tiger walks by. Well Braskey thought it was Tigger from all those new reports that he heard about, you know about Tigger touching women. So Braskey naturally wanted an autograph but Tony but he wouldn’t sign one because Braskey kept calling him Tigger. So Braskey, drunk as he is, starts beating the crap out of Tony the Tiger while singing the Winnie the Poo theme song. Then after security dragged him off of Tony’s blood costume they asked him if he had anything to say for himself, and old Braskey he just sat there and said “it was GRRRRREAT!!!”
Larry: That’s just like Braskey.
(The Boss who is very fat and very drunk wearing a Ctwomen costume. Enters)
The Big Cheese: (slurring her words) HEY HEY HEY, BOYS or lack there of.
(Everyone Looks at Larry.)
Larry: (defending himself) It was on sale!
The Big Cheese: Would anyone want to enjoy this party (showing off here keys) a little more in my apartment. (Looking at Mick) what about you Count? Ready for a late night snack (show off hear neck)
Mick: I wouldn’t suck you blood even if it was made of scotch. And I love a good scotch!
Ted: (confused) So who are you supposed to be… Catwomen played by Roseanne?
The Big Cheese: (Noticing Larry looking at her) what you looking at?
Larry: (drunken pause) My penis is afraid of you.
(Awkward Silence)
The Big Cheese: why is that?
Larry: Because just like a stray cat, we don’t know where you have been and I’m one to talk.I have STDs. HArgarbibals!
The Big Cheese: Well I didn’t bubbles got around so much.
Larry: HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY, I get plenty off ass. (Drunken pause) And crabs! (Looking around) can’t forget the crabs…( depressed) They hurt my privets.
The Big Cheese: (Slurring her words) Well, if I can’t get any from you mascots I’ll get some from a really man, Bill Braunsky! (The Big Cheese Leaves)
Ted: It’s Bill Braskey!!!! Mike Chugger!!
Mick: Is that even an insult?
Ted: I have no idea. (Depressing pause)
Larry: (confused) Ta Bill Baskey????
All Guys: Ta BILL BRASKEY!!!
Mick: Bill Braskey makes the Marshmallow Man from Ghost Busters look like the Pillsbury Dough boy.
Ted: Braskey once got a lump taken out of his back and it grew into a small child. He named it Michael Moore.
Larry: He as a tattoo on his left arm that says “Muppets” And in smaller print right below, it says “needs love too”.
Mick: I saw the urinal flush for him….well it does that anyways
Ted: He once gave a woman a hand full of heresy kisses and a dildo, and then he asked her “if was it good for her too”.
Larry: The original idea for BeerFest came from drinking Baskeys urine.
Mick: The only reason Alex Trebek hasn’t quit from Jeopardy is because Baskey still watches Jeopardy. And Trebek fear for his life.
Ted: Spiderman tucks Braskey in to sleep every night. And the Hulk makes him breakfast.
Larry: Braskey Nipples can cut through steel.
Mick: Ta BILL BRASKEY!!!
All guys: Ta BILL BRASKEY!!!!
Ted: Did you guys hear the story about how Braskey saved a nation park.
Larry: (Hallucinating) LET GO OF MY EGGO!!!
(Awkward Silence)
Ted: Well anyways, they where about to close this park due to lack of funding. And Braskey loved throwing firecracker at the monkeys. So he goes out in to some grasses area and regurgitates an entire bag of oranges. Well he plants them right then and there and starts poring scotch all over them. The next day there’s at least 50 orange trees all ready for picking all around the park. Well Braskey, hires some Mexicans to pick all those trees and sell them off. Braskey was a hero. To bad he killed the Mexicans after they where done. He hates Mexicans. Ta Bill Braskey !!!!
All guys: TA BILL BRASKEY!!!
(BREAKING THROUGH A WALL COMES BILL BRASKEY)
Bill Braskey: Hey Guys I just got done doing all the interns. Now I need to drink!
All Guys: BILL BRASKEY!!!!!
Blewis said,
January 30, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
That skit is fuckin hilarious. Good job. Here’s another one:
Bill Brasky once disected his girlfriend’s cat to prove he was “good with animals.”
Meicher said,
January 30, 2008 @ 5:06 pm
I KNOW THAT MAN!!! Biiiill Brasky 9′10 4567lbs a visionary of his
time…once i saw ‘ole Brasky constructing a 55 Story Building single
handedly with a pickaxe and a brazilian native named Naimori. I asked
him why he needed a native, he said for moral support and ripped poor
Naimori’s heart from his chest and Yelled NAKA COO DA! which roughly
translates into the theme song of Charles in Charge.
Robert said,
January 30, 2008 @ 7:08 pm
Damn! The post by Meicher is top notch.
BLewis said,
January 30, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
That bro is straight up. If he just knew a damn about media production(inside joke). I’ll try my best with this one:
It is said everytime Brasky farts, 300 angels lose their wings
Meicher said,
January 30, 2008 @ 11:39 pm
Nioce Blewis epic brasky… alright here another LET TEH BRASKYS BEGIN!:
Dood:
One time Brasky raped and murdered three men and my wife in a small
town in Ingolstadt, Germany…like i said it was a small town so the
village people and I formed a posse to run Brasky out of town. Well
you know Brasky and when the villagers started waving fire in his face
he ran off to the Arctic where i cased him down on a ship…….
Man:
Hey is’nt that the Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein?
Dood:
No Brasky is Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein
ALL:
TO BILL BRASKY!!
Robert said,
March 26, 2008 @ 8:17 pm
While on vacation in the South Pacific, Bill Brasky, taking his que from native islanders, decided to break open a coconut for a refreshing drink. The act of him hitting that coconut against a nearby rock on the morning of March 1, 1954 is now known as the H-bomb detonation on Bikini Island.